Cecil Whig

Posted on: February 25, 2008

Celebrate Being Alone

Did Valentine’s Day put you in a lovelorn slump? Find out how to raise a toast to being single – and how to spread your love around

By Bev Bennett
CTW Features

If you’re not in a romantic relationship, Valentine’s Day may have given you flashbacks to the fourth grade when you anxiously waited to see how many cards you merited. But now that this hyped-up love fest has passed, it’s time to overcome the awkward feelings it stirs up in the single woman.

Instead of bemoaning a less than perfect love life, turn outward: spread good feelings to others. You can add pleasure to your life as well as those of friends and even strangers with a few simple gestures, say relationship experts.

Start by treating yourself well, says Pamela Redmond Satran, a New York area writer.

“Schedule the massage you’ve put off for the past 11 months. Call the personal trainer you haven’t gotten around to schedule. Spend some money on yourself; buy a great bra that makes you feel better,” says Satran, author of the upcoming new book, “1000 Ways to be a Slightly Better Woman” (Stewart, Tabori & Chang, March, 2008).

Entertain friends who may also be in a post-Valentine’s-Day funk.

“Throw a party for your unencumbered girlfriends. Watch overblown ‘girl movies,’ such as “Beaches” and drink pink Champagne,” says Satran, who is co-author of the popular Glamour magazine List column.

Look for ways to express joy, says Sherri Ziff Lester, a life coach in Los Angeles.

“When you’re playful and loving and sweet to others it lifts your burdens,” says Lester. It doesn’t matter whether you have a specific recipient in mind for your generous deeds. Lester, in fact, recommends the “random acts of kindness” approach on any day of the year. For example, the coach suggests you buy a bunch of flowers, wrap them individually and hand them out to people you see on the street.

“It’s so fun to give to strangers who serendipitously pass your way. You’ll make them feel good and you’ll feel good as well,” Lester says.

Another one of her tips is to keep a bag of individually wrapped candies in the car to give a parking attendant or other service people.

Lester also likes the idea of getting together with girlfriends. She suggests each woman choose another in the group to be the beneficiary of some sweet act.

“You’re giving each other a nice experience,” Lester says.